I thought

my sexuality

was the only thing

that would confuse me this much…

You left a hole in my heart

that looks years to fill.

Each shovel of dirt packed in solid,

now feeling a bit crumbly.

Why now?

The year-long construction project

can’t be undone. Shouldn’t be…

Time.. I thought you were on my side.

Fate or something, why do you hurt me?

Why throw hurtles at my heart and expect it to be stable?


I am not sure how to respond…

Again.. why now…?

Who thought it was funny

to play with my heart again?

I should count my blessings this wasn’t a year ago..

This poem, this ramble of sorts, would be different.

It would be worse in the sense of an uncompleted build.

To tear down or to keep going would wage a war.


But even a solid heart questions the walls built up.

Maybe it would be okay or maybe the whole will be left bigger,


My confusion laid bare, and the end uncertain like my mind,


By: Erin Marie Winans

Going through something unexpected at the moment, but you will probably see poems about my ever-changing feelings.


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